Daffy Duck has an important lesson to teach you about the art of asking. Let me share an excerpt from Looney Tunes cartoons as an example of how you might feel when asking. The stage is Tina’s workplace, a copy shop, and Daffy Duck wants to ask her to go on a date.
Daffy (No eye contact for approximately infinity): So, uhh, Tina, I was wondering if by any chance you’re not doing anything tonight, which you probably are because you’re not ugly, if for some reason you’re not, would you maybe, possibly, no pressure if you can’t, just wondering, y’know, would you like to go out with me? Maybe. (shy glance towards Tina finally)
Tina: Yeah, I’d love to.
Daffy: Well, you can’t blame a guy for tryin’. (starts to walk away)
Tina: I SAID I’D LOVE TO GO OUT WITH YOU!
I think that nicely sums up the awkwardness and bumbling inadequacy you may experience when considering something like how to ask for a raise, even if you know with certainty you deserve it. Am I right? Maybe you haven’t put yourself out there with an ask but feel like you’d be fumbling over words like a cartoon duck if you even tried.
But you don’t have to feel that way AT ALL. You absolutely can master asking for what you want without those feelings. Let me walk you through this.
Three core components are all you need to create powerful outcomes in asking. These key points let you know you are moving toward mastering the art of the ask. From there, you have a success strategy you can use for life.
- Have the courage to ask BIG every single time. What I mean by this is asking so big it feels too big. Really, really scary big. Like if you get it, rainbows will shoot out of your ears. The reason I say to do this is twofold. For one, when you ask this way, you don’t have to wonder if you left money on the table. You will know you got as much as you could. Most women I’ve coached lowball themselves like crazy. Let’s put an end to that nonsense right now! Second, the more you can get yourself to do this, the more courageous you can become. It will start to be a part of who you are and you may even start to enjoy asking for things you want.
- Have a sense of control going in and coming out of an ask. This means you are steering the conversation. Your hands are on the wheel, not the other person. How great would that be? And what a difference it would make to your confidence if YOU are able to control and guide the conversation instead of the person you are asking. This is a powerful skill.
- Speed up your goal-getting. You will know you are gaining mastery of asking when you can tell without a shadow of doubt that your asks are helping you make LARGE leaps forward. Mastery is pretty much the opposite of playing small, so you will be making moves that clearly impact your financial or career trajectory. Mastery also has no room for waffling or procrastinating. Speed is the name of the game!
Now, I realize you likely are not to the point of mastery. We are all on a journey of discovery. I’m sharing this breakdown with you today so that you can develop an understanding of what is involved. You can use this as a measure for reaching your desired outcomes.