On a really hot summer day, a nice dip in the pool can feel incredibly refreshing. But what about that first step?
Where you dip your toe in the water, and it feels UGH, TOO COLD.
Maybe you sit on the edge for a bit, dipping your feet in, watching the kids act crazy. There’s an elderly woman doing her underwater jog thing, annoyed at the children getting in her way. You can distract yourself for a bit, but you’re still hot, aren’t ya?
You realize you have to take the plunge.
And so, you do. And it’s OH SO COLD for a minute.
But then it’s great, isn’t it? Feels invigorating to cool off.
So, what did you do to get yourself to take the plunge?
You mustered up a bit of COURAGE. You knew you wouldn’t die. It would only be uncomfortable for a minute, and then you’d be refreshed.
Ladies, the EXACT SAME procedure works for your goals. You will feel hesitant and there will be discomfort. Maybe in the pit of your stomach. But when you make the decision to go for it, you will connect to your inner core of courage that will power you through. You don’t have that, you say? I’m here to tell you that you really do. Courage may be lurking in the background, but it’s ready to step up for you when you require it.
“Being brave is not being unafraid but
feeling the fear and doing it anyway…
When you feel fear, try using it
as a signal that something
really important is about to happen.”
—Gloria Steinem, Co-founder of the Women’s Media Center
Action step: If you need a boost of courage, write out a list of 10 things you’ve accomplished in your life so far. I’m sure you have some truly triumphant moments to reminisce about. Take a bit of time to bask in how that felt. Connect to that energy. And start to feel the “I’ve got this” energy again.
Big Asks require big courage. But big courage does not need to be elusive. Don’t mistake nervousness for a lack of courage.
The simple way to build up your courage is to let the anxious feelings be there and go ahead with it. If you wait to feel ready, you will be waiting too long.
You don’t have to hold back, be less you or feel shame for wanting more. I think the more we all can learn to ask for what we want, the more we can help pull others up, too.
I hope this was helpful for you today, but this is just a SMALL part of my overall coaching process to help women ask for what they want. You can experience even more connection to your courage in my Break Free, Ask Big course. You can learn:
- How to quit lowballing yourself
- How to figure out what stops you
- Exactly how to break free, even if you feel freaked