How one Ask changed everything: The story of T.H.

The post you’re about to read has the potential to generate amazing results in your life, like:

  • That hefty raise you know you deserve
  • A new promotion you want
  • An incredible partnership that would be mutually beneficial

Whatever it is you are seeking, moving the needle forward is done by asking. I’m sorry, there’s no “easy button,” no tactic that lets you work around it. Sometimes you just have to do the hard stuff to get what you want. And that, dear reader, is why some people get what they want in life, while many others live in quiet desperation. Nobody is going to hand you a winning lottery ticket. You have to take charge and make your own luck.

Instead of talking more about how to do the big scary thing, I’d like to share a brilliant success story. Then you can see for yourself that this stuff really does work!

The story of T is one woman’s quest to change everything with one Ask. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Asking can do the same for you. So let me share with you the things she did to make the most powerful Ask to get herself the best yes, she could possibly attain.

T was looking to make a BIG change in her life. She was employed as a lighting engineer for an architecture firm and wanted to transition into real estate. She needed more time to pursue her real estate business.

She was going to ask her employer to drop from a full-time employee to part-time independent contractor status. No biggie, right? Wrong! She was also renegotiating her pay to a significantly higher hourly rate than what she received as a full-time employee.

The stakes felt very high for T, asking for ALL THIS… What if they say no? If they say, “Stay as is or go,” T would feel like her future plans were in jeopardy.

These are the perfect conditions for you to decide to shrink your Ask so small you feel assured you’ll get a yes. But it’s not the yes you want or need.

T resisted the urge to shrink her ask. She stayed strong and requested what she truly wanted. Because she remained steady, she ended up with a yes that worked for both parties.

Here’s a breakdown of what T did to pull this off:

  1. She didn’t overexplain her ask. She assumed mutual value. A mistake that women often make is feeling the need to lay groundwork that is already well established. Don’t hem and haw and take the energy out of your ask. Get straight to the point.
  2. She jumped into her Zone of Freaking Out. This is a natural feeling when you are asking for something that feels very big.
  3. She mapped out the Ask in detail. This means deep diving into the details. What am I asking? What are the terms? Hourly rate? Hours? What’s my offer to make the yes easier? What’s my reserve? What if they say no? The ask map is a 360-degree view, covering all the angles so you can feel prepared in any event.

Here’s a follow-up message from T to me after her meeting:

“I used as much of the stuff you gave me as possible. They gave me everything I asked for, even my rate. The rate I asked for was squarely in my Zone of Freaking Out. They said $5 less than what I was going to ask for, so I told them what I was actually going to ask for, and they said, ‘OK, that sounds good.’

So much for the no! I really thought I was in the no range, but it turns out I could have asked for even more. That being said, I did it and it turned out great! Your advice was a huge help. One thing you said that stayed with me is that I didn’t need to sell myself. That was so true. They already had ten years’ proven track record from me and they were so glad I wasn’t quitting.”

Congratulations to T! I invite you to share your courageous asks with me on my social media. I’d love it.


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