Do you feel like a big Ask makes you want to shrink inside yourself?
Maybe the thought of asking for that raise makes you cringe… even though you know you deserve it.
Do you need to renew a lease? Do you need a supplier to come down on price? Or do you need your kid to clean their room? (Just kidding. The kid’s room is hopeless. Don’t waste time on that one.)
But seriously, these issues will arise in your career more and more as you flourish professionally. A common occurrence is to ignore or delay endlessly, waiting for the “right” time or to feel “ready”. And it ends up being a weight on your shoulders, even when you put it into the back of your mind. It’s still there and you know it. Avoiding it just wears you down.
Newsflash: The time is NOW, and YOU ARE READY.
The truth is making a big Ask can be exhilarating. Truly, I wouldn’t lie. Going for what you know you want, even if you get a “no,” will connect you with a powerful confidence.
In my coaching, when I inquire, “Is Asking big energy-producing or energy-depleting?” 100% of the time the answer is energy-producing.
Even in the case of things falling apart! When it becomes obvious that your priorities clash with your audience’s priorities, the experience of courageously Asking for more and standing up for what mattered to you results in confidence, momentum, and more courage.
You, too, can find abundant energy in Asking. With that energy, you can go into your next negotiations more confidently, squarely centered on yourself, so you can stay in control as you negotiate your big Asks. Then, when the time comes for the Ask that’s big enough to put you right in the Zone Of Freaking Out (ZOFO), you have enough energy and momentum to carry you through.
What you’ll find is that making your big ZOFO Ask is not:
- a death-defying act
- crazy, even if it feels like it is
Once you embrace the freak-out feeling, the big Ask can be more thrilling than finding your dream shoes for 70% off. Except it’s a thrill that brings you closer to your goals, ensures you leave nothing on the table, and makes very clear where your best partners, clients, and employers are. It’s the path to truly knowing the potential of every Ask and going for it with no regrets.
After all, how can you know what you can get if you don’t ask?