3 reasons you aren't asking big enough

We plan our asks and wring our hands and finally go for it. And when we do, it’s usually an Ask that’s only scratching the surface of what’s possible. You may be leaving money on the table. Or missing opportunities.  All because you feel nervous and define your Asks based on a few bad assumptions. Let’s talk about it.

1. You’re afraid of getting the NO. Fear is the biggest blocker to asking big that I’ve seen in my career. It’s because we load the NO full of all kinds of commentary about our worth. Truly, getting a NO can mean so many things that aren’t necessarily anything about you. Maybe your values don’t align. Maybe they just aren’t the right client or investor or employer. It could be that they flat out don’t have the money.

Every time you get a NO, you’re actually getting valuable information. Stop fearing the NO. Stop loading the Ask with meaning about who you are.

Aim for the NO to guarantee you don’t leave money or opportunity on the table. You’re not gonna die if you get a NO. Other opportunities, companies and people are out there!

2. You think you’ll walk away with nothing. Your first Ask may receive a NO. You think that’s the end of it? In most cases, this is a false assumption.

If you’re prepared with an alternative offer that would still please you as a second Ask, the conversation often continues. This is an auctioneering technique that you can draw from in your negotiations. Sometimes in an auction I start high and get no bids. I drop it down. I get no bids. I drop it down again and pretty soon I’ve got paddles in the air and end up blasting beyond the “high” bid I initially offered. Now, you aren’t in a competitive bidding situation so it may not happen like that for you, but the point is to plan your responses to a No. Don’t go in with only one offer.

3. You think that freaked out feeling means danger. When you’re considering a big Ask, getting freaked out, nervous or nauseated is normal. It’s not a sign something is wrong. It’s a sign something is very right! In fact, you are right in the midst of the land of opportunity, so stop seeing a danger sign and start seeing an adventure!

Reconciling these 3 issues puts you on the fast track to using Asking as a major success strategy in your career. We’re turning those so-called weeds into beautiful flowers here.


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