Ask Like An Auctioneer

Dia  0:01  

Wouldn't it be great if women that I work with had a chance to just not ask for what they need to resource their dreams in the way that we do every day in business, but instead to actually resource our dreams and ask for things like we do as auctioneers? Wouldn't it be wonderful if women had a chance to ask like an auctioneer just once?

Dia  0:41  

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Dia Bondi show a big podcast for women with goals. I'm Dia Bondi, and I am on a mission to put more money and decision making power in the hands of women. So we can change everything for all of us. And I'm doing it by helping women ask for more and get it and more importantly, use asking as a success strategy that's kind of a bolt on but for a reason. So I'm here to talk about all things that have to do with asking for more and getting it and what it takes to do that, and also the places where we can ask for more and get it so we can reach our goals faster. Now, if this is Episode Two, and many of you if you'd listened to Episode One, you met a woman named Laura Finnerty who at that time was my on air producer and turns out guess what Laura did last week, Laura between recording episode one and Episode Two. Laura Finnerty asked for more and got it and now she's taking a big job with a big brand that doesn't have a lot of room for her to do extra freelance stuff. So Laura has moved on already and big snaps for her congratulations to Laura Finnerty as she moves into closer to and toward her goals. But what's really actually kind of cool about this while I say farewell, and great, great luck to you, Laura, is that I now have a chance to introduce to you all you fabulous listeners. Arthur Leon Adams, the third who will now be our on air producer, Arthur Say hello.

Arthur:

Hey, everybody.

Dia:

So great to have you with me today and with all of us. And I just want to like, give folks an idea of who this guy is. So Arthur Leon Adams is a filmmaker, composer and a performer in his own right. And as I've written on these notes, to myself, he is in fact, the epitome and the embodiment of cool. So.

Dia:  2:31  

Arthur has been, you know, he played in lots of bands over the course of his life. As a composer, he has built great audio tracks, like the one that you hear on this show. Yeah, and for awesome brands, like Mozilla, the makers of Firefox, T mobile, and Motorola. And he's also done a fair bit and continues to do a fair bit of directing, both for commercials for brands that you know, and love, but also for music and music videos, which is a big part of I know where your heart lies. Arthur, I'm like, so thrilled to have a creative to have like a legit creative bringing his ear and his talent to this show. I'm so, so happy to have you here, Arthur. Well, I'm super happy to be here. So I have to say also  that's sort of like your resume kind of stuff. But I have to say that there are like some really specific things that I really love about you. And I want our listeners to love about you too, and they won't have a chance to experience you in the same way I do. But folks need to know that. Like, there are three things that really stand out about you for me, okay, and I want to share them. Are you feeling weird and nervous?

Arthur: No, not at all. I'm actually very curious to hear what they are.

Dia:

Well, they all kind of rhyme. Okay. So the first one is like what I love about him is that you curate like a boss. I mean, whether it's your record collection or the set of guitars that are sitting right behind you as I watched you on our zoom recording for this podcast, like you curate like a boss and I shared an office space in Berkeley for a handful of years and so also your space in our office was very well curated. And what that meant for me as a space sharer with you, is that I got to experience that the next thing that I really love about you, okay, which is that you appreciate.

Arthur:

Yeah, I'm an appreciator or an enthusiast.

Dia:

100% Yeah, this guy everybody appreciates a vast array of music in a way that I have not encountered another human being ever in my 46 years of this life and on this planet. I mean, I always tell you how intimidated I am to even talk about music with you and you're always like stopping it is no big deal but it is crazy and why I got to it. why this matters is that on when we were at our shared office, which we called the clock factory for a couple of years on Fridays, you would come in and take your beautifully curated

Dia:  5:00  

box of records that you would bring in and play music for us. And some days it would be like Japanese folk songs and another day be like some 70s punk stuff. And then another day, we'd be listening to like piano concertos, and then another day we'd be listening to something that is sort of ambient. Right. And today, a lot of shadows. Yeah. It’s been such a joy for me to be able to, like, witness how you appreciate things, but then also get to experience it, because you share it with me. Yeah. And then the third thing is this, these are all I can't believe it's like, it's curate, appreciate. And the last one is you relate. So there, there's a thing that happens for folks like me who are in the sort of professional and personal development space, we go off, and we give workshops, where you're holding space for a lot of folks, and you're, you're really trying to pay attention to, you know, to an audience, whether there's 20 people in front of you or 300 people in front of you. And you know, a workshop day where maybe the workday is eight hours, you know, or the workshop is only two or 90 minutes, or whatever it is. And like, there's this thing that we have on the other side, which I call sort of like the workshop glow, but it can also be the post workshop, sort of downer. And I remember really specifically one day, I had given a big workshop, I don't know where it was, it was pre COVID. So I was out in the world. And I came back to the clock where we had our shared office, and I remember finding you in the sound room. And I had that like massive adrenal Lo, that feels kind of good, but also has sort of like a weird sort of loneliness in it after you do sort of what I think of as like a show.

Dia  6:38  

And I sat on the floor in the sound room, and I was like, I remember you so clearly being like, Yes, I know that feeling that's not in your head. That's a real thing. Oh, yeah, you feel empty inside. Because you just gave everything that you had to somebody else to an audience or to a client or whatever. And then you need to charge back up. You do and you shared with me how at the end of your shows, you often will do a little bit of the fan stuff, and then you go hide in the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it just needs a little time sometimes. I know. Even though I'm an extrovert, and I get energy from other people, everyone has their limits. And anyway, I just felt so seen in that moment, as I sat on the floor, and I was like, Oh, this curator guy who does so much appreciating is also relating in this moment, I felt very seen. Thank you for that.

Arthur:

Oh, well, you're welcome.

Dia  7:34  

So I want to say why you're here at the Dia bondi Show, is because you are somebody I respect in the world that we've had some great creative collaborations in video production and beyond. And also, you are the composer for the music for this show. I remember when I first concept did the show, I was like, Hey, the vibe of this needs to be a big podcast for a woman with goals. And who better to understand that and deliver that into the ears of you listeners then Arthur Leon Adams, the third. So, he was a composer on this. And also, you know, because we shared that office for so long when I first concepted also the idea of Ask Like An Auctioneer, which is sort of the origin story of this podcast. You were there the whole way. You saw the first time I was like, Guys, I have this weird idea. Yeah, I remember when you came back from auctioneering. School. Yeah, that's right. So yeah, it's kind of fun to be able to be on this show with you. That is an outcome of those two years of exploration into this content. And that we get to be here together working on this thing that I hope will get into the ears and lives of a lot more women, you know, in the upcoming episodes, so I'm stoked for that. Yeah, I'm excited. So that's a formal introduction, and kind of kind of long one for that. It deserves it. And so we're sitting here on a Friday afternoon recording and heading into the weekend. Do you have any special plans coming up? I mean, it's middle of COVID. What kind of special plans could we possibly have? Yeah.

Arthur  9:07  

I just went and bought a bunch of containers yesterday, and I'm going to organize a bunch of stuff in the garage.

It's great. It's great. I have also in mind since COVID, hit you know, I'm a mom of two married to a man I've been married to for 20, almost 21 years. And I have to say we have never had more blank slate weekends than we have now. And I'm actually really enjoying it. My daughter and I are doing a thing we call confidence reading. So we both have books that are sort of like centered on, you know, things that we're working on in our lives right now. And she's 10 and I am not. And we sit on the bed in the mornings and have coffee and tea and we do quiet what we call confidence reading and talk about what we're reading together. So that'll probably be on deck this weekend.

Arthur

Nice.

Dia 10:00

So yeah, I want to also say that like, for those of you who are listening, you may hear me sometimes call Arthur Leon out, the third baby Arthur or baby A and that is because he is nothing like a baby. But when we were together at the office, we shared our office space. There were two Arthurs in the office, one who was a silver fox, and in his 60s and then Arthur who is not and we had to nickname them. And so silverfox Arthur was actually big Arthur and Arthur Leon Adams ended up being baby Arthur and it kind of stuck. And so if anybody listening hears me refer to him as baby Arthur or baby A, it is only a term of endearment.

Arthur

Oh, yeah. And I take it as such. And thank you for the flattering introduction. But now I wanted to turn to you and find out what's on your mind.

Dia 10:45  

Well, I listened to the first episode and I was shocked at how fast I spoke. Like, even today, I'm sitting up recording, I'm trying to lean back in my director's chair and be a little bit more relaxed, because I was jamming LIKE A BOSS last time. And I was reflecting on why that is. And it's because for you listeners, most of the time, like, this is a brand new podcast. And most of the time when I'm talking to women that I want to help, you know, help them get to their goals faster. It's in a keynote or a workshop form where I have like, exactly 25 minutes, and this is my only chance with that audience, or exactly 45 minutes, and there is a countdown clock in front of me whether I'm giving a talk, you know, virtually and in the past live, there's a huge countdown clock that tells me exactly how much more time I have with my audience. In a workshop, it can be two hours, but still two hours, you know, it's full of content. And the moment I start, the clock starts ticking backwards. And so I'm always putting the heat on it and being really strategic and like not wasting a word and jamming through it. Not that I'm always rushing, but there's a little bit of pressure on it, you know, and I forget that like here at the Dia Bondi show I don't have to do that. Because we always have another episode where we can talk about the other thing. So it just stood out for me thinking about this show, I hope you listeners will come back. So you'll hear the next thing I have to say that will hopefully have an impact in your life and in your career and helping you get where you want to go. And I don't have to rush because I know that I'll have another chance to talk to you.

Arthur

Right. And you know, as someone who listened to that episode, I, I didn't really think that you were rushing. I mean, I've heard you talk that fast a million times before, but I get what you're saying. It's nice to really slow down and take your time with these kinds of ideas.

Dia

So yeah, I have to remember, I can take my time and we have another chance together. So I'm going to try to do that. today. I'm going to try to do that I already feel more relaxed than I did first, first go round.

Arthur

Great. And before we move on, I just want to let everyone know that if you're into what we're doing here, then you should subscribe, rate review and help the Dia Bondi show reach more people. Share it with your friends. Tweet about that shit, you know, right? Yeah. And if you have a question for Dia about an important ask in your life, you can actually give us a call at 341-333-2997 and leave a voicemail. And you might hear a question answered on a future episode.

So today, you are going to tell us the story of how this podcast came to be. And most importantly, where all this ask for more and get it stuff came from?

Dia 13:37  

That's right. So, I have been in leadership communications coach for nearly two decades. And what that has meant is that I work with leaders and entrepreneurs at critical moments in their businesses and careers, to find the courage to speak from the heart in front of the most critical audiences to their goals. So they can tell the story that needs to be told courageously and from a place of real truth and power and confidence. And what that means is putting them in control of their time in front of that audience, giving them a sense of control so that they can have the impact that they want on their goals. And, you know, I did in fact go to auctioneering school when I turned 40, I put myself on sort of a working sabbatical. And during that time, my husband reminded me of something that I had on my bucket list, which was to go to auctioneering school. And I had said years before at a dinner table one time, you know what I would do someday is I would go and actually learn how to be an auctioneer for real. And that was because I had been invited to be the live auctioneer at my kids preschool fundraisers. You know, I've been in front of audiences a lot. I'm not afraid of a microphone and all the other moms and dads and caregivers were like no thank you - you’re  going to do it? I'd never auctioned anything before my life. I didn't even watch any YouTube videos. I just kind of did it the DIA style way. And I had such a blast that I ended up kind of putting it on my bucket list.

Dia  15:00  

Well, years and years later when I put myself on that, on that working sabbatical, my husband reminded me when I was thinking, like, what do I want to do, like, I want to learn something, I want to do something kind of weird, you know, and just not just, you know, do like deep, more professional development, I want to like go on an adventure. And he reminded me that I had that on my bucket list. And so I packed my bags, and I went to Missouri and I went to auctioneering school for 10 days. It was like me and 100 cowboys on the side of Route 66, literally, at a Holiday Inn Express learning how to auctioneer everything from art to real estate to hogs.

Dia  15:37  

And when I was there it was 10 days with those guys and those instructors. There were probably like 100 Cowboys and then like four other women.

Dia  15:49  

and when I was done with that, I was like, Okay, that was fun and interesting, like, what am I going to do with this. And when I got home back to San Francisco, I realized, you know, I could use it as an impact hobby, and do fundraising auctioneering for fun for women led nonprofits and nonprofits that benefit women and girls. And so that's what I started to do. I got hooked up with an auctioneering company here actually, who sent me gigs. And I had a great privilege to do auctions for places like the Oakland Museum of California

Dia  16:22  

and San Francisco girls chorus and for Baycat and for Dress for Success and a lot of nonprofits that no matter where you're listening from in the United States, are maybe recognizable to you. And so that was great. But one day, you know, I'm a CEO, activator, I'm part of this activator community where we activators come and pool their money together. And then we open applications for women led for profit businesses to apply for those funds, early early stage funds. And if we select them, we vote on them. And when we select them, they get a 0% loan to your 0% loan out of that pool of money. Along with the support and enthusiasm and networks and resources. Of all the activator community, we make sure those women are successful. And so I during that time was really on my radar, you know, helping women entrepreneurs, and also women who are sort of out on their own terms, either as freelancers or women who were out as independent professionals to like, do life and work on their own terms and help them get on the stages and be successful on stages that really matter to their goals. One night, I was falling asleep thinking about, you know, wanting to help women be more successful in that way with the talents that I had. And it just hit me that you know, what would be really interesting is for what I've learned for the last year and a half auctioneering to actually resource a thing with asking. Wouldn't it be so cool, if women that I work with for their stage moments, had a chance to put on a beautiful outfit and hold a powerful microphone and stand in front of a big audience and learn how to auctioneer just once to see what it feels like to really ask for things directly, unapologetically, but strategically, and to see what it's like to do a rapid fire, you know, negotiation or rapid fire request and have that pay off in a way that is really clear that they hadn't left any money or opportunity on the table. Wouldn't it be great if women that I work with had a chance to just not ask for what they need to resource their dreams in the way that we do every day in business? But instead to actually resource our dreams and ask for things like we do as auctioneers? Wouldn't it be wonderful if women had a chance to ask like an auctioneer just once? And I was like, Oh my God. And I flipped on the light. And I wrote it down on my bedside table. And I was like, dreaming about it all night that night. What does it mean to ask like an auctioneer. And really, really quickly later, I really really quickly like the next week or two I realized like, I needed to do something with it. And I didn't want to, I didn't actually want to open like an auctioneering School for Girls. Like that's not what it was about. It was about how do I take what I've learned in auctioneering and apply it to the mental models and tools and frameworks from that world and apply it to how we think about storytelling and asking for things for our careers and businesses, our practices, you know, for our goals. And a couple of weeks later, I was invited to give a little talk about personal branding or something at a small women's group in Silicon Valley. And I was like, No, I don't really do that anyway, but I have this wild idea called Ask like an auctioneer and I need like a - What do you call it - like a petri dish? You know, I need a little lab to see if it works, if these ideas work. And so I pitched the woman who invited me and she said sure Oh my gosh, that's great. So I got in a room with

Dia  20:00  

65 women and I gave a 20 minute talk about the core ideas here and how actually, when we ask like auctioneers, we inevitably get more than if we asked like we do in our regular business lives. And I told everyone in the room, at the end of this 20 minutes, your job is to tell me if this is crap. Or if I should keep going. And at the end of that few, those 20 minutes is 19 remaining minutes, women raise their hands, they were like, Oh, my God, keep going.

Unknown Speaker  20:31  

Oh, there's so much more I could talk about but I'm going to hold back. So I started chatting with folks in my community about guys, I have this crazy idea. I think it's just a keynote right now. And you know, one person talking to somebody else, talking to somebody else. And pretty soon I got invited, actually, to give a more robust version of that talk at Pandora's women in tech summit, which I was invited by this woman, Meyer Benjamin, hey, Mara, I hope to have her on the show, actually, who was head of engineering at that time at Pandora.

Dia  21:01  

And  I went to have tea with her to talk about the women's summit. She was thinking about the bigger programming. And I said I think I'm not sure this is right for this place. Like I'm thinking about this just about helping women ask for more money, right? Whether it's investment in your entrepreneurial journey, or raise, or better rates for your freelance work, or for your consulting work. That's how I was thinking of it. And she was like Dia, if you don't recognize all of the other 1000s of asks that we have to make across, you know, the journey of our careers, and how you can help women make bigger, bolder, better, more fruitful asks, in those places, you're missing a huge opportunity to have impact. And it just hit me that like, Oh my gosh, yes, she's so right. This is about sometimes the asks that we make in our careers that are non financial, although I want to help you with the money part that can set you up for bigger financial asks later that can can accelerate you toward other performance goals or leadership goals or impact goals in a way that just asking for a raise can't do.

Dia  22:12  

So I went and gave the talk. And interestingly, Arthur, you were there for that?

Arthur

That's right, I produced and kind of directed that video shoot.

Dia

That's right. And we will put that project asset connection here as a sizzle reel, we'll put it in the show notes, which is the sizzle reel that you produced and shot. And then also after that we ended up making a tiny mini course out of that. And that workshop out of that keynote as well, which you cut together for me as well. So yeah, and we'll put both of those in the show notes so folks can check it out. Well, one thing led to another and pretty soon what I thought of as a project asked like an auctioneer started to get some momentum. And I was asking myself what is like, What's going on here? What is my actual why behind what I'm doing? Because I was getting those questions. What is it that you're actually doing? What's the why behind this? And my why I realize is, you know, I want women to ask for more and get it and not leave money and opportunity on the table. Because ultimately I want to help put more money and decision making power in the hands of women. Because when we do that we change everything for all of us.

Dia  23:16  

Little shout out to Lorena. So Lorena was in that very first talk I gave to that women's group, those 20 minutes, I never met her. And she could have left out the back and never asked a question or anything and used these core ideas to in matter of like 18 months, double her salary and triple her role. And now she runs all of operations and recruiting for a for an augmented reality gaming company where you know, a space that is gaming is traditionally or been fairly hostile, at least in the earlier days, toward women in her just running, you know, recruiting from her lens, as you know, as a mom, as a Latina, as a you know, as a woman changes the game, you know, like she has had to do anything she has to be herself but in that position of authority, she's changing things for all of us.

Dia  24:12  

So from that early idea of like, what does it mean to ask like an auctioneer, I ended up on sort of this bigger journey and now half of the work I do is around communications and helping you, you know, take command of the stage that matters and then the other half is around helping you ask for more and taking command of your pathway and asking as a success strategy. Now we've got workshops and other stuff and we have, at birth, this podcast because I want to be able to get this into the hands of more and more women and this is one way that we're going to do it.

Dia  24:49  

So that's really like the story of how we kind of got here and it took a long time. You know all this story about like overnight success and then they were like, you know, two months later they had all these audiences and then like

Dia  25:00  

This has  been cooking in my heart - it cooked to my heart for six months. And then, you know, I sampled around and tested it for another six months and then I turned it into something formal and sent it to people for you know for six months and you know, it's been a while. So now that it's you know, a thing - ask for more than get it with Dia Bondi. I have had hundreds of women come through my workshops and keynotes and now hopefully hundreds of women or more 1000s of women. My goal is to reach a million women with this content.

Dia  25:33  

I’ve had women come through and they've been women who are not just, you know, on a career track in house are not just, you know, defined as entrepreneurs, but I've had women who are coming through who are running for office. Women who are, you know, inventing things, women who are leading teams, internally, women who are looking to change their own life and put themselves on a new path. I've had women who are, you know, serving on boards running nonprofits. I'm pretty agnostic to the field, it's about if you've got a goal and a vision for yourself, I want to help you get there faster. So here we are at the Dia Bondi show. Welcome, everybody.

Dia 26:18  

So that's kind of the story of project as like an auctioneer which led to this bigger mission and Arthur you've been along for the ride the whole time. Witnessing me coming back to the office and ranting about what happened that day or, you know, piping up in the office going guys, I got this idea. I think I'm gonna do this thing, or you know, workshopping different stuff with you, running ideas by you, running copy by you. I mean, I've been throwing stuff at your face around this for a couple of years now. I'm super curious, like, in those couple of years, are there any particular moments along the journey that stand out for you?

Arthur

I mean, there's lots of little moments. I mean, I do remember, when either before you were gonna go to auctioneering school, or right after, and you showed me the video, there's a documentary about it. And you were, I think this is before you went and you were super psyched up on it. And then you went, and you came back, and you were super psyched up on it and talked about it. And it's like, every little step of the way. I was around. it's been really, really interesting to be, you know, to dip in and out of being involved and just being in the periphery and seeing how it's grown from this little thing that you were gonna do kind of for fun, and into this amazing, inspiring career path.

Dia

It's kind of surprising to me how it snuck up on me, it's like it needed to live and I'm just kind of like bringing it into the world. The part that stands out for me, was actually when we went to Pandora that first time ever we went for like a pre Pro, because we were gonna shoot it and take some testimonials and stuff, which you all can see on the video if you click in the show notes.

Dia  27:56  

And I remember afterwards, we went out for noodles. Do you remember that?

Arthur

Yeah, I remember that in Uptown. Yeah, yeah, in Oakland.

Dia

And I remember like, sitting there just slurping noodles whenever we went out for udaan or something. And I remember thinking like, Oh my God, here’s my friends. And they're totally helping me do this. That stood out for me. The other thing that stood out for me was the story I mentioned a minute ago, when Mayra looked at me and she was like, if you're not helping us make every ask, even, you know, outside of just money, you're like, you're missing the boat. And she could not be more right. You know, looking back at those, you know, that year and a half, were you know, talking to all these women. It's true that you know, our categories, the categories of the asks that we that are asked fall into are money, but they're also as I said on the first podcast, you know, authority, influence and balance.

Arthur

Like, undeniably, you can have a ZOFO that you step into about anything.

Dia

You really can and we will talk about the ZOFO soon. We will talk about spoiler alert hashtag Zofo. See, people? He's an insider if there's such a thing - not to be exclusive - but like Yeah, he's got all the language so this is exciting for me. So I think for today that's what we're gonna do. Episode Three I think we have slated because we are gonna have some talent in here to give us perspectives on the things that we can ask for more of and how we might ask for more of in our lives. We will already have slated Shasta Nelson, who is a friendship expert. She'll be in one of our upcoming episodes. But also this is part call-in show. And we actually got a voicemail from somebody who's been in and around this content with a question so in Episode Three, if you have time, tune in and you're going to hear us play that and and I'll get to workshop that question that we got. But for now, I think I've told the story. What do you think?

Arthur

I think you have. I consider this episode a success.

Dia

Okay, everybody, we're gonna see you in the next episode. Arthur, Welcome to the show.

Arthur  30:00  

Hi everybody.

Unknown Speaker  30:05  

The Dia Bondi Show is a production of Dia Bondi Communications and is produced by me, Arthur Leon Adams the third. Please Like, Share, rate and subscribe at Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Do you have a question for Dia about an important ask in your life? Give us a call at 341-333-2997 and maybe you'll hear your question answered on a future episode.